I don’t normally write when I feel like I do now, but I feel it’s important.
I didn’t do a lot today. Like every day it’s starts early, getting myself and Bella breakfast and take my meds. Around a 20 minute routine which is always followed by returning to my bed to lie down and read my kindle while waiting for my meds to do something…anything. I don’t go back to sleep, though I could. I try to keep a normal sleep routine because one day I’ll be back to working and it’s important. Anyway I got up around 11 when my dad came over for coffee. He left just after 12 and I packed up a puzzle I’d completed over the weekend. I then had a phone call with a good friend and relaxed for an hour. I then hoovered the living room, filled up Bellas kibble bin and put the recycling out.
I know, it’s boring and not a lot happened. But now I am too the bone tired and my pain is a 10/10. I think it’s important to discuss what overdoing for me looks like. This is it. This is why leading a normal existence is not possible for me.
But I soldiered through and pushed myself to prepare fajitas for dinner. I’m not that safe in the kitchen anymore, and my energy and pain levels don’t allow me to cook often. But I think it’s important to push through sometimes, though doing so means tomorrow will undoubtedly be horrible. But I need to do normal things sometimes. Sometimes I need to feel normal.