So here we are, another year coming to a close. We enter the year of my 30th, one of my best friends will become a mother and the other will become a wife. The year I should be having a nerve stimulator device implanted along with a pacemaker. A year that will hopefully see the rehabilitation of my body so I can restart a life beyond mere existence.
2022 wasn’t my year. In fact I’d love to scrub it from my existence, but alas such things are not possible. It was arguably the toughest year of my life to date. This situation started June 2021, so I only saw half that year go to waste. But 2022 was a whole year of my life wasted. It’s hard to think of it any other way. It was a year of suffering and sorrow. A year that saw those I love grow and flourish, while I watched longingly through the window. I wanted so much more from this year. In fact exactly a year ago I vowed that in 2022 I would heal and find myself again. I continue to make that vow for as long as it takes to become a reality for me.
But while as a whole 2022 wasn’t my year, it was a year I survived when I really didn’t think I would or could. A year with so many moments that I didn’t think I could continue, moments I wished I wouldn’t see tomorrow when I went I sleep. And so it signals a year that I fought through every one of those moments, 365 days worth of those moments. This year tested my strength in more ways than I could imagine or explain, and I passed every test. But not alone. I survived these moments because of what I surround myself with. I surround myself with love and kindness, patience and understanding. Beautiful traits of all those who surround me, who support me and cheer me on. Not to mention my trusty sidekick, my ginger shadow, Bella. My bug. My soulmate.
I know what I wish for myself from 2023 and I wish nothing but wonder and love for those I care so deeply about. I wish that for everyone else too, especially those who have supported me, checked in on me, shared their time with me and those who are reading this now. I hope your 2022 was worth remembering and holding on to, and I hope 2023 is even greater in every way.
Happy new year with love and light 🤍