Hello, and welcome to a new year.
I wanted to share a few bright things to start this year on a good foot. First off – my NYE. It was my favourite to date. I spent 80% of December stuck in bed, so I was determined to get around to see my friends, even if, like Cinderella, I needed to get myself home before midnight. It started at Hannah’s house. Her home was filled with her family, partner, and a couple of friends. The whole house was just bursting with joy and love and I felt every ounce of it. Cooking together, laughing, playing games, and checking in on each other’s Christmas celebrations. It was beautiful to be a part of it. Then I popped a few doors up to see my goddaughter Amy and her mum, Laura, who’s a very old friend of mine. It was brief but heart warming as I hadn’t been able to see them since mid December. Then I jetted off to Darcy’s, where her and her partner had a few friends round to see in the new year. I saw some old friends and we laughed, and played around and ate. The lads went off to watch lad shit on YouTube and us ladies just basked in each other’s company, full of laughter and even a tequila shot. It was another home filled with love and joy and, again, I felt every part of it. I left a little before 12, later than I thought I’d last, and I got to spend the big moment with my mum. The woman who has been my career, friend and supported for these last 18 months. I’ve never felt so loved, and yet it was so simple.
Since then, I’ve been blowing up my neurosurgeon’s secretaries phone until she finally answered this week. As a result I’m now 2nd place on his year long wait list and they’re booking 6 weeks in advance. So it won’t be long before I get an appointment letter, and should be seeing him in just a few months. Light at the end of this dark and painful tunnel. Finally a step closer to getting the implant.
In the background over the last month I’ve been trying to deal with my debts. December finally saw a decision made on my health assessment for my UC and ESA, which means my income finally covers my outgoings. As a result, I was able to get back in touch with StepChange to get their help. If you ever find yourself drowning or just overwhelmed by your debts, I truly cannot recommend this charity enough. Every person I’ve spoken to has been lovely and kind, understanding and nonjudgmental. So behind the scenes I’ve been working with them and whatever route I took my credit score would be damaged for the next 6 years. However, not dealing with it would also damage my score for 6 years and land me in court. So we went for option 3, to damage my credit score for 6 months and be debt free in 1. I opted to apply for a DRO, which is insolvency. If my financial situation hasn’t significantly improved in 12 months it’s all written off. The reality is that I’m still waiting for a consult, then I’ll be waiting for the actual surgery, then going through rehab. This isn’t a less than 12 month process. It’s been a bitter pill to swallow – that this is where my finances are at because I got a vaccine, but that’s not what this post is about. But it’s still hard to accept that I’m going insolvent, and a decision will be made on that in the next 10 days. It’s hard to accept any of what’s going on with me because of a vaccine, but I still have to face up to it all. And this, while taboo and something someone might judge me for, is a huge fucking relief. That when I’m better I might also get to restart life with a clean slate is enough to make a girl cry.
I’m glad I get to come here, with my first blog of the year and share good things and good energy. That’s going to be my focus this year, is taking the fucking wins. Jay Shetty put a post out the other day with an idea that each week he will write something good that’s happened on a bit of paper and put it in a jar. Then next NYE he’s going to open the jar and read them all. And I’m going to follow the trend, and each week I will fill my jar with something great that has happened for me. I might even write everything great that’s happened that week. And I started by writing about my NYE.