I said yesterday I’d done all I can do and now I had to trust the universe to bring things back to me. That trust turns out to have been well placed.
Yesterday at the vets, they checked out Bellas eye and the cyst that has appeared. The cyst has grown down and now it would be too risky to operate on it. As it’s benign and out of her line of sight we’re going to leave it be. It could mean that at some stage the eye will be compromised, but for now she gets to keep it in all its pale blue glory.
Today, just two days after my DRO application was submitted I received an email. My application has been approved and in just 12 months my debts will be gone. I will have a clean slate, and hopefully I will be on my road to recovery by this point too.
My therapist set me an exercise before new year, to put together a visualisation board. I’ve started it, but it’s in my head in and the notes in my phone rather that physical. Of course I started with having my own home – I can’t help but think how liberating it would be to have my own space, or my own design, as a young woman finding her place in the world. Next up is my next steps. I’ve spoken before how I might not go back to engineering. Truth is the construction industry comes with a significant stress load, even when you’re on time you’re still up against it. I loved what I did, but it was also restrictive in terms of being stuck at a desk everyday or not have the time or money to travel. It also didn’t fulfill my purpose of helping others. Instead I’m considering going to university to study therapeutic psychology. It covers the area of psychology I’m most interested in and allows me to choose a career in this field that includes being self employed. This allows me some freedom to create a work-life balance that suited me. Because what I want from life, when I begin to be, is to be a stress free as possible, with the financial freedom to do the things I want to. My bucket list items of places to travel, adventures to do and adrenaline to seek. I’ve spent 29 years denying myself all of these due to believing I didn’t have the time or could afford or justify the cost – I won’t deny myself like that anymore.
Now, I will trust to universe to keep bringing back to me. To allow me to begin to be again.