Many things will be happening this year for me, many things this week alone. I like to try and balance my time, ration my energy. But this is one of those weeks where I just don’t foresee the right balance or rationing. Instead I see the following week being a right-off. This bums me out because it means, aside from more pain, that I’ll be fairly unlikely to be up to doing a lot else other than resting. But it’s just a week.
Today I have to drive myself and shells to Bristol to see the specialists that have been dealing with her eye. There’s a chance I might be coming back alone and she’ll be having a sleep over after more surgery. Normally my dad drives me there and back for her check ups and surgeries, but as he’s bogged down with work I’m going to have to drive myself. Unfortunately, the drive alone will bring a heavy consequence, let alone the emotional weight if she ends up in surgery. But it cannot be avoided, and it’s a consequence I will always be willing to pay.
Thursday my dad has booked us to go to Autosport International at the NEC. Some of you will have read the cost of me going to a car show late last year. It was a lot, not just the endless walking, but the early wake, the movement or the long car ride there and back, and the late night. It’ll be a lot, because for me even just sitting upright is a cost. But, I seldom do these things, and it’s not often I get to spend time with my dad outside our near daily coffees. It’s something we both enjoy, and something under normal circumstances I’d be excited to do. But it comes in a week that just happens to already be busy for me.
Friday, following therapy, I have a physio assessment. This is following my referral requesting hydrotherapy. I’m really looking forward to this, not in an excited ‘this is gonna be so much fun’ way, but in a my joint paint is nearly equal to my head pain and I could really do with some help with that kind of way. My hands, back and feet are the biggest problem for me. My hands hurt from my wrist to the tips of my fingers, and at the moment I have a job to write with a pen or do my paint by numbers. I have the same kind of issue in my feet, but thankfully I’ve no reason to write or paint with those. The negative is the worse my joints are the more I click, not deliberately either, though I do click to relieve the pressure I feel. This also includes my jaw too, which is also impacted by my HC pain. All clicking and hurting. It’s like being an old lady, the trouble is that I have to be extra vigilant to ensure nothing pops out of place or dislocates.
Anyway, fast forward to Sunday, and I’ll be driving my mum and I to Wolverhampton to visit my brother and his family. Unfortunately, due to her eyesight and the likelihood of driving in the dark I’ll have to be the driver. I’m also a very bad passenger, particularly with my mum. I’m really looking forward to this and am so excited to see their new home and their kids. I feel nothing but love when I’m with them, and much like when I was a kid and my brother came to stay, I still think he’s the cool big brother. I just hope that between the car show and physio, that I’ll be able to recover enough to a, safely drive, and b, enjoy the day!
Obviously I also have my therapy sessions scheduled. Yesterday my DRO application was submitted, so I’m also a bundle of anxiety waiting for the decision on that. But I’ve done all I can, now it’s up to the universe to bring it back to me.
As I say, a busy week my my standards, very quiet by a normal persons. But it’s just a week, and it’s a mix of things I have to do, things I need to do, things I want to do and things I just can’t control. So while it’s too much, it’s well balanced.
I’m not sure why I wrote this one, probably because I can’t stop thinking about how much I have to do. But I think I might start writing a little more about things I do to cope and manage, not just my pain, but my depression and anxiety, or even my joints. I have certain things in place, and very practices, that I’ve adopted in order to help me cope better. The sorts of little things that might help others.