Today is my Dad’s 60th birthday and we’ve got a family dinner booked at a local restaurant.
First off, huge birthday wishes to Hamish! We’ve a lot of memories, not least restoring a TVR together and working together for many years. When work allowed we’d take longer lunch breaks and either take both TVRs for a drive or head off to a local cafe for a delicious friend breakfast. When work wasn’t so kind, we’d find ourselves working into the wee hours with a glass of wine and a take away. We’d use our business to get trade passes to most motor shows and that would be our little treat to ourselves when we needed to step away from the grind for a day.
One year we decided to go on holiday, at this point I hadn’t had a holiday since I was a kid. But we booked onto a European track day tour with our fellow TVR friends, arranged by the TVR Monster himself, Andy Race. We spent a lovely long weekend at Spa, though it was in the C5 RS6 on account of the fact that one TVR shit itself (Dads, shock!) and the other didn’t have power steering. Nevertheless it was a fantastic weekend and one I will always look back at with fond memories. Except for the first night, where memories are hazy due to too much beer.
Since getting sick we haven’t been able to do these things. I did one show at the NEC with Dad, with my stick when I could walk a little more, but it damn near killed me and I decided that I couldn’t carry on as the consequences were too much for me to cope with. Now though, now I have a wheelchair and I know for sure that Dad and I will get ourselves to another show. In fact, I know that this time it won’t just be dad and I, it’ll be Tash too now she’s also developed the petrol head bug and I wouldn’t wish it any other way. Now I’ll have company while dad spends too long at the jumble sale stands and chatting to other TVR owners, but also someone to cause a little mischief with! Mostly though, I’m just glad to be able to tell my Dad that these memories can be started again, that we haven’t lost them forever like I feared.
Dinner out is an anxious event for me, largely because of my MCAS. I’m currently finding that I’m reacting more than usual, likely because of London last week and nearly 2 weeks of migraines most days. I’ve planned as best I can, my meds are ready along with extra antihistamines. I’ve also bought DAO Food Plus, which is a supplement that can be taken 30 minutes before eating to boost levels of DAO. Diamine oxide is found in the small intestines and works to lower histamine levels in the gut, so this supplement will help make tonight’s dinner a safer event for me. I’ll still be sensible, as hard as that’s becoming, but I’d rather eat right and not risk a reaction and the days/weeks of recovery that comes with that.
Edited – I’m posting this a day late, his birthday was yesterday and I did react to my dinner despite it being a plain beef burger and chips. But that’s just the way the dice rolled.
Unfortunately, I wrote similar sentiments about our memories in my Dad’s card, which made him cry, right as his dinner was placed in front of him. Oops! But I meant it all, I know events will still be hard, my energy levels are still fragile and I’m easily overwhelmed. But I’m determined to use the chair to experience more of life again, even if it’s only big days a few times a year until I reach a point of better coping. I’m done being scared to live, because I still am scared, but I am still alive and that can’t be ignored anymore. So my next task is to pick which Race day to book tickets for, likely at Brands Hatch or Donnie Park where there will be plenty of TVRs and old friends to catch up with.
