Another round trip on the earth is coming to a close. Of course I’m referring to my rapidly approaching 30th birthday.
I decided earlier in the year that to hell with everything going on, I will celebrate this day. Another year that’s seemed wasted, but that I’ve survived nonetheless, and that I’ve collected some truly incredible memories in spite of my health.
Last weekend I attended my goddaughters First Holy Communion. I believe I wrote before about feeling like I needed to go to a church and that I’d been praying. I wondered how I’d feel this day, knowing I am and have been a prolific sinner. Alas, despite my misdeeds, it was a wonderful occasion, if not a little hot under the collar. Thankfully I didn’t burst into flames and steal my darling Amy’s special occasion.
I didn’t understand much of what was going on, in fact I had a sheet of service which was often not reflecting the lines the regulars were chanting in unison. I do believe group improvisation on that scale is more indicative of a cult. Anyway, Amy was incredibly proud of herself, though disappointed she’s not old enough for the wine and that the offered wafer did in fact taste like a wafer. Shocking!
This is my most recent special memory I get to keep from this year. Ended by my annual tradition of throwing her in the pool back home. She’s an absolute rascal with the attitude of someone who’s far older and more experienced. But I love her nonetheless, largely because I’m mischievous Auntie Chlo and have in fact been the ring linger of many of her antics. She makes me laugh every time I see her, and that is the greatest gift in life. To feel and share in joy.
My Grandma is home from hospital so we’ve all been rallying round to ensure her house is safe for her and that her health and care needs are being met. Of course I’ve helped, but in my very limited capacity. I’m so grateful to the rest of my family for accepting this, especially my sister who has been a god damn trooper.
I’ve spent the last few days ensuring I spend a few hours with my Grandma; keeping her company, joining in with her physio and cheering her on despite her regularly flipping the bird in my direction. She’s an incredibly strong woman, who despite her suffering health is largely more concerned about everyone else and rather angry at her body for slowing down. And thanks in part to her dementia, I’ve been regaled with many stories from her younger years that I’ve absolutely loved hearing.
It’s been a really tough few weeks her for my whole family. We’re all broken, battered, bruised and exhausted. But mostly my mind is focused on these two wonderful memories than have come from it.
Now I am focused entirely on Saturday. My friends Han and Darc are planning surprise birthday celebrations. I have no idea what’s going on or when, which you can imagine is very tough and I have unsuccessfully tried to get hints from them both. But I’m looking forward to whatever it is and eternally grateful that I have such incredible and selfless people around me who are willing to do something so wonderful. No doubt I’ll be here sharing an emotional journal entry before long about whatever happens!